My Honest Thoughts on Mom Guilt and How I Deal With It

Hey Mama, Let’s Get Real for a Minute

Mom guilt. You know it, I know it—we all feel it. That little voice in your head that whispers, “You should be doing more,” or “Why did you lose your patience like that?” It sneaks in when you’re scrolling Instagram, when you’re working instead of playing, or when you finally take a moment for yourself.

I’ve felt mom guilt in more ways than I can count, and honestly? I’m done pretending it doesn’t affect me. So I wanted to share my honest thoughts on it—and how I’ve been learning to deal with it in ways that feel good, not heavy.

When It Hits Me the Hardest

For me, mom guilt shows up the most when:

I need to work and can’t give my daughter my full attention
I order takeout instead of cooking
I feel overwhelmed and snap, then immediately regret it
I take a break, scroll my phone, or even just hide in the bathroom for five minutes of quiet

It’s wild how even normal things—things every human does—can feel so heavy when you’re a mom.

Photo by RDNE Stock project on Pexels.com

But Here’s What I’ve Learned

Mom guilt is a sign that we care deeply. But it doesn’t mean we’re doing anything wrong. Being a good mom doesn’t mean being perfect—it means showing up, even when it’s messy.

Let me repeat that for the mama in the back: You don’t have to be perfect to be an amazing mom.

I’ve started shifting how I look at guilt. Instead of seeing it as a burden, I use it as a cue. A cue to check in—not to criticize myself, but to be mindful.

How I’m Learning to Deal With It

Here are a few things that have helped me ease the weight of mom guilt:

Talk About It
I share with my mom friends or my partner when I’m feeling off. Just saying it out loud makes me feel less alone.
Reframe the Narrative
Instead of saying “I’m a bad mom,” I ask: “What’s really going on here?” Am I tired? Stressed? Overloaded? 9 times out of 10, I’m just burnt out—not failing.
Let Go of the Instagram Illusion
Social media can trick us into thinking everyone else has it all together. Spoiler alert: they don’t. I remind myself that no one shares the full story.
Take Guilt-Free Breaks
I’m learning to take care of me without guilt. A happier me is a better mom. Whether it’s a hot shower, a walk, or just watching Netflix during nap time—it’s allowed.
Apologize When Needed, Then Move On
If I mess up, I say sorry. But then I forgive myself. I wouldn’t want my kids to carry guilt forever, and I shouldn’t either.

You’re Not Alone, Mama

If you’ve been wrestling with mom guilt, just know—you’re not the only one. We all have those days. You are doing your best with what you have, and that is more than enough.

Give yourself grace. Celebrate the little wins. And know that even on your hardest days, your kids love you more than you realize!

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