Let’s Be Honest—Marriage Isn’t Always Easy
Especially when you’re raising babies, juggling responsibilities, and barely getting enough sleep. Somewhere between laundry, dishes, and work deadlines, my husband and I realized we were slipping into “roommate” mode. We were coexisting—but we weren’t really connecting.
Our conversations were short, often transactional, and sometimes just plain tense. And honestly? I missed us.
Things had to change. So we did the work—and one of the biggest game-changers was how we learned to communicate again.
Today I want to share a few communication tips that literally helped save our marriage. These aren’t from a textbook. They’re from real life. From two tired parents learning to love each other better.
1. Say What You Need (Without the Drama)
I used to expect him to read my mind. And when he didn’t? I’d get resentful. Now, I speak up clearly and calmly: “I need 30 minutes to myself tonight.” Or “Can you handle bedtime? I’m tapped out.”
Being direct has helped both of us meet each other’s needs without unnecessary arguments.
2. Ask Before You Assume
It’s so easy to jump to conclusions when we’re tired or overwhelmed. If something feels off, I try to ask instead of assume: “Hey, you seemed quiet earlier—everything okay?” That one little question has stopped so many fights before they even started.
3. Stop Keeping Score
When I started listing everything I do versus what he does, nobody won. Keeping score built walls between us. What worked better? Asking for help before the resentment builds. And saying thank you even for the little stuff.
4. Schedule Check-Ins (Even If They’re 10 Minutes)
We started doing 10-minute check-ins after the kids go to bed. No phones. Just “how are you really doing?” moments. Sometimes we laugh, sometimes we vent—but we’re intentionally reconnecting.
5. Don’t Wait Until You’re Angry to Talk
Hard convos are inevitable. But waiting until you’re angry to bring something up almost always makes it worse. I try to speak up when I feel calm—even if it’s uncomfortable.
6. Speak Their Language
I’m all about words. My husband? Not so much. He shows love through actions. When I realized that, I stopped waiting for gushy love letters and started appreciating his “let me clean the kitchen so you can rest” kind of love. And I let him know what I need too.
7. Laugh More
Sounds silly—but humor is healing. We started watching funny shows together, reminiscing about old inside jokes, or just being goofy. It brings us back to us.
8. Say Thank You More Than You Think You Need To
Gratitude is a glue. “Thanks for running that errand.” “Thanks for making coffee.” It costs nothing, but it means everything. It keeps the connection alive and reminds each other that we’re seen.
Real Talk: We’re Still Learning
Our marriage isn’t perfect, but it’s stronger. We still have off days. We still disagree. But now we know how to talk through it, instead of letting it build up or break us down.
If you’re in a hard season right now, just know—it’s okay to ask for help. To grow together. To try again. Communication takes practice, but it’s worth every effort.
Sending love from one real-life mama to another. 💕
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